Spilled milk cries over Chuck Norris.
Sticks and stones may break your bones but Chuck Norris' fists will kill you.
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
Chuck Norris knows how to kill you in more ways than you know how to die.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow? Cowboom!
A teenager is a hopeless romantic who never falls in love more then twice a week.
Q: What is the difference between Election day and Thanksgiving day? A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day; on Election day, you get a turkey for four years.
Monahan stumbled into a saloon, half crocked. "Say," he said to the bartender, "how tall is a penguin?" "About two and a half feet." "Thank God!" cried Monahan. "I thought I ran over a nun!"
Chuck Norris once slapped a headless man.
Chuck Norris watches Saturday Night Live on Friday.