Best jokes ever

Monahan stumbled into a saloon, half crocked. "Say," he said to the bartender, "how tall is a penguin?" "About two and a half feet." "Thank God!" cried Monahan. "I thought I ran over a nun!"
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More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bartender, god
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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More jokes about: animal, death, Chuck Norris
An economist is someone who didn't have enough personality to become an accountant.
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More jokes about: accountant, work
Q: What is a Democratic Free Market? A: One that hands out slices of cheese.
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More jokes about: democrat, money, food, political
What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes? A real Christmas Card!
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More jokes about: elf, Christmas, stupid
Little Johnny was a chemist. Little Johnny is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
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More jokes about: little Johnny, little Johnny, chemistry, death, stupid
Q: What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush? A: One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!
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More jokes about: winter, travel
Q: Why did the cannibal tax auditor get disciplined? A: For buttering up her clients.
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More jokes about: tax, black humor, morbid
Q: Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired? A: Because he couldn't keep his calves together!
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Q: If an accountant's wife cannot sleep, what does she say? A: "Darling, could you tell me about your work."
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More jokes about: accountant, wife, work