Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris beat Halo 3 on legendary, with a broken Guitar Hero controller.
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has 74.78 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him. Teacher asks, "Johnny, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body." Little Johnny after thinking for a while says, "I saw a dead body cycling to school."
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has 74.78 % from 393 votes. More jokes about: death, little Johnny, school, teacher
What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower? Unemployed.
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has 74.78 % from 393 votes. More jokes about: mexican, racist, work
Q: How long does it take before a pound of weed goes bad? A: I don't know! I've never had it longer than an hour!
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: time, weed
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT
A plane is descending rapidly from the air, and the passengers are all scared stiff. Suddenly a women near the front of the plane stands up and takes off her shirt. She proceeds to yell, "Is there a man on this plane that can make me feel like a REAL woman before I die?!" She continues to yell this for about ten minutes before a man in the very back takes a stand. He proceeds to say "Yeah I can make you feel like a woman." He then takes off his shirt and throws it towards her and says, "Here! Iron this!"
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: men
What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
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has 74.78 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: men
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, "How much is the yellow one?" The assistant says, "$2000." The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, "This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast." "What about the green one?" the man asks. The assistant says, "He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes." "What about the red one?" the man asks. The assistant says, "That one's $10,000." The man says, "What does HE do?" The assistant says, "I don't know, but the other two call him boss."
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has 74.77 % from 136 votes. More jokes about: animal, money, parrot, phone
Yo mamma's so fat that she had to get baptized at seaworld.
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has 74.76 % from 242 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
When a White guy is... Scared- He gets even whiter. Cold- He turns Blue. Angry-He turns Red. Stoned- Gray duh. Sick- He turns Green. When a Black guy is... Scared- He stays Black. Cold- He stays Black. Angry- He stays Black. Stoned- He stays Black. Black Man to White Man: And you calling us colored.
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has 74.75 % from 809 votes. More jokes about: life, white people
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