Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
A. They are fun to ride but you don't want your friends to find out.
Vote:
I came here to do 2 things: work on my math skills.
Why do black people go to the Liberty Bell?
They heard there was some crack in it.
Vote:
Q: What is the difference between frustration and satisfaction?
A: What the Fuck! and What a Fuck!
Vote:
A man took a trip out West after a harrowing divorce proceeding.
He stopped in a bar, and after a few drinks, stated to no one in particular, "Lawyers are horses' asses."
One of the locals spoke up on hearing this: "Mister, you'd better watch what you say. You're in horse country."
Two blond girls are discussing:
"Yesterday during the blackout I got stuck in the elevator for three whole hours!"
"Tell me about it! I got stuck too in the escalators."
Walking into a lawyers office, a man asked what his rates were.
"Fifty dollars for three questions," the lawyer stated.
"Isn't that awfully expensive?" the man asked?"
"Yes," replied the lawyer. "What's your third question?"
Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music?
Matthew: Why?
Peter: Because he broke the record!
What do you call a Labrador that becomes a magician?
A Labracadabrador!
An artist, a lawyer, and a programmer are discussing the merits of a mistress.
The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered.
The lawyer warns of the difficulties.
It can lead to guilt, divorce and bankruptcy.
The programmer says, ‘It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
My wife thinks I’m with my mistress.
My mistress thinks I’m home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!’