The sun is the burning remains of the last planet Chuck Norris pillaged.
Chuck Norris was once asked to place his legs and fists in the cargo bay of a plane because weapons aren't allowed in the cabin.
Rocky Balboa was a lucky man because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.
Chuck Norris can make music in Adobe Photoshop.
Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
When Chuck Norris breaks the speed limit, no one can put it back together again.
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
Chuck Norris was once shot. The bullet died.