Chuck Norris once walked in the opposite direction in the Running of the Bulls. The bulls turned around and ran for their lives.
Chuck Norris once won a Scrabble tournament despite getting only Z's and Q's in his rack.
Cletus Cletus goes to work and sees that one of his co-workers has a thermos. He asks him what it does and the fellow co-worker responds, "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." Cletus was amazed and when he got home immediately went out and bought one. The next day he goes to work and is proud that he has this wonderful object. The same co-worker realizes he has a thermos and says, "What do you have in it?" He says, "Soup and ice cream!"
When a mime sees Chuck Norris, he makes a glass wall and pretends he's dead.
Chuck Norris once won a Poker tournament using only Pokemon cards.
Chuck Norris broke the law once. It still isn’t fixed.
Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
Sand is created by Chuck Norris shouting at rocks.
When the metal detector goes off at the airport, it is just verifying Chuck Norris walked through.
Chuck Norris can fold airplanes into paper.