There is no backspace button on Chuck Norris' keyboard. Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
When Chuck Norris wants salad, he eats a vegetarian.
Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
The actual definition of U.F.O is Chuck Norris's Toy Frisbee.
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results, put on two coats".
What happens if you upset a cannibal? You get into hot water.
James Bond was trained by Chuck Norris, as his butler.
If looks could kill they would be called Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
If there's something strange... In your neighborhood... Who ya gonna call?... CHUCK NORRIS!