Best jokes ever

Yo mammas so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, her reflection said," I quit." And walked away.
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has 72.48 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, ugly, Yo mama
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."
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has 72.48 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, food, math
Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
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has 72.48 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
After 20 years of marriage, a wife finds out that her husband had been f*cking her for the past 20 years with a dildo! she is so angry she asks her husband to "Explain the dildo". The husband replies "explain the kids?!"
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has 72.47 % from 169 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, kids, marriage, time
A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? B: It's a girl. She's my daughter. A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father. B: I'm not. I'm her mother.
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has 72.45 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids
Before his rise to fame, Jaws was Chuck Norris's goldfish.
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has 72.45 % from 189 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fish
If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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has 72.44 % from 201 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Yo mama is so fat she turned a monster truck into a low rider.
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has 72.43 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: car, fat, Yo mama
George W. Bush and Bill Clinton both decided to have biographies written about them. George called him "The Three Most Powerful Men - Bush, Dick, and Colon". Bill called his "Sex Between the Bushes"
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has 72.43 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, political, sex
One winter year, these two little fleas headed for the warm sunny beaches of California to escape the cold. The first flea got there and started rubbing suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flee legs. Just then, the second flea arrived just a shiverin' and a shakin'. The first flea asked, "What the hell happened to you?" To which the second flea replied "I just rode out here on a bikers mustache and I'm so very coldddd!" The first flea said, "Don't you know the special trick to gettin here, first you go to the airport, go straight to the mens cammode, wait for a young pilot to come along, and when he sits down you climb right up between his butt cheeks where its nice and warm". The second flea agreed that this was a grand idea. The next winter comes along and it was time for the fleas to head for the sunny beaches again. The first flea arrived and began putting suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flea legs. About that time, the second flea arrived again just a shiverin', shakin', and mumbling about how cold he was. The first flea exclaimed "Didn't you learn anything that I taught you about getting here nice and warm?" To which the second flea replied, "I did just as you said; I went to the mens cammode and this pilot came in and sat down, I climbed right up between his butt cheeks and it was so very warm. Next thing I know we stop at a bar and I fell asleep. All of a sudden I woke and there I was, right back on that bikers mustache!
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has 72.43 % from 296 votes. More jokes about: airplane, bar, gay, travel, winter
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