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Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
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Chuck Norris once cried just to see what it was like. The end result was the creation of life.
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The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
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Q: What is height of forgetfulness? A: Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.
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Chuck Norris does not fart, nothing escapes Chuck Norris.
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Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?" The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me." The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."
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Two girls were comparing boyfriends. "Mine's the best," said the first. "I call him Seven-Up because he's 7 inches long and he's always up!" "Oh yeah," exclaimed the other, "I call my boyfriend Jack Daniel's because he's the best hard licker there is!"
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Chuck Norris doesnt walk, the earth moves under his feet.
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Customer: "Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?" Waiter: "Can’t you tell the difference by taste?" Customer: "No, I can’t." Waiter: "Then does it really matter?"
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Q: Did you hear about the the evangelical atheist? A: She went door to door with a book full of blank pages.
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