One day two deaf-mutes meet on the street.
They had been friends in school but had lost touch over time.
They used sign language to catch up on old times.
Through the course of conversation one of the deaf-mutes learned the other had learned to speak and was no longer mute.
This amazed the fellow that was still mute and he asked about the procedure.
His friend gave him the doctor's card and went on his way.
The deaf mute wasted no time and went straight to the doctor's office.
The doctor informed the procedure took 26 days and cost one million dollars.
The man handed the doc his insurance card and begged the doctor to start the treatment that day.
The doctor had the man strip and lay over the examination table.
The doctor went to his closet and took out a bucket of mayonnaise and a broom handle with a door knob on the end.
The doc got a running start and shoved the mayonaise covered door knob up the deaf-mute's ass.
The mute screamed,"AY!AY!AY!"
The doctor said,"very good we will work on the B's tomorrow."
Vote:
Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!
A parrot was in a pet shop with a string attached to each leg when a man walked in looking to buy a pet.
A shopkeeper came over and started to try and sell him a dog when the man noticed the parrot.
He asked what the strings were for and the shopkeeper replied, "Well, if you pull the right string the parrot says, 'Polly wanna cracker'. If you pull the left string it says, 'my name's Sam'".
The man being of the inquisitive nature tried both and thought it was really neat, but was still curious.
So he asked what would happen if he pulled both strings, the parrot piped up, "I'd fall off the perch you idiot!"
What's the flattest surface you can iron your clothes on?
Asian girl's ass.
Do you know why babys cry when they are born?
Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
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They once had a showing of Walker Texas Ranger in 3D.
There where no survivors.
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According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Vote:
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left.
The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right.
The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
Question: Why did God give men penises?
Answer: So men would at least have one way to shut a woman up.