What do you call a baby potato?
A small fry.
Wanna hear a pencil joke?
Ugh, nevermind, it's pointless.
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Two elderly gentlemen are playing cards on Saturday evening just as they have done for the past 50 years.
Gus, the elder, had been having problems remembering what cards were what, and usually needed help from his wife.
At the end of the card game Red said to Gus, "You did very good tonight. You didn't need any help at all. Why is that?"
Gus replied, "Why, ever since my wife sent me to that memory school, I haven't had any problems at all."
"Memory school? What memory school?"
Gus thought for a moment, "Oh, what's that flower that's red with thorns? A really pretty flower..."
"A rose?" asked Red.
"Yeah, that's it!"
Gus turned to his wife and mumbled, "Hey, Rose! What's the name of that memory school you sent me to?"
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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"Is it rape if it's your wife?"
"I don't think so."
"What a relief!
I thought you'd be mad as hell!"
Yo momma so old...
Jurassic Park brought back the memories...
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Allstate gets insurance from Chuck Norris, because even Allstate needs to be in good hands.
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Yo mama so fat when she tossed in her sleep she woke up in another time zone.
Yo momma so fat that they had to install speed bumps at all you can eat buffet.
Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?"
Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
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