A drunken man staggers into a catholic church and sits down in a confession box but says nothing.
The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing.
The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final atempt to get the man to speak.
Finally the drunk replies - "No use knockin' mate - there's no paper in this one either".
Q: What do you call a Democratic buffet?
A: A free for all.
When Chuck Norris donates blood he refuses the needle, he asks for a knife and a bucket.
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Teacher: Ramu, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Ramu: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Ramu: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
Q:Why don't blondes get coffee breaks?
A:It takes too long to retrain them.
Q: What do you call a cow during an earthquake?
A: A milk shake.
Paddy and Murphy were doing a crossword.
Paddy asks, "How do you spell paint"?
Murphy replies, "What color?"
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Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
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A little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room.
Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him."
His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh.. well.. ah.. well, I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again."
And the boy says, "Well, that won't work!"
His mom says, "Why?"
And the boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up."
There are no such things as Chuck Norris haters...just people with short lives.
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