A Russian captain is trying to explain to his comrades the effects of atomic bombs: "Now, imagine 20 no, 40, no... a 100 cases of vodka and noone to drink them!"
Chuck Norris can do push-ups in a sit-up position.
Chuck Norris's Birthday is October 32th.
Chuck Norris can put out a fire using nothing but gasoline.
Yo' Mama is so skanky, when the waiter brought out her strip steak, she asked where to tuck the dollar bills.
Yo' Mama is so fat, I had to dip her in flour to find her wet patch.
Chuck Norris runs until the Treadmill gets tired.
Chuck Norris cannot be put in a corner. The corner always backs away.
Chuck Norris once gave blood, it was put in cans and labelled 'Red Bull'.
Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.