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A Russian captain is trying to explain to his comrades the effects of atomic bombs: "Now, imagine 20 no, 40, no... a 100 cases of vodka and noone to drink them!"
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Chuck Norris can do push-ups in a sit-up position.
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Chuck Norris's Birthday is October 32th.
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Chuck Norris can put out a fire using nothing but gasoline.
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Yo' Mama is so skanky, when the waiter brought out her strip steak, she asked where to tuck the dollar bills.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, I had to dip her in flour to find her wet patch.
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Chuck Norris runs until the Treadmill gets tired.
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Chuck Norris cannot be put in a corner. The corner always backs away.
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Chuck Norris once gave blood, it was put in cans and labelled 'Red Bull'.
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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