A spaceman landed on the moon. To his surprise he saw ahead of him a little shop, with the name above it: "MORRIE COHEN, BESPOKE TAILORS." Curious, he went into the shop. A surprised looking man appeared behind the counter. "Who are you?" he asked. "I’m a spaceman," replied the spaceman. The man closed his eyes, and slapped his own cheek with one hand. "Cutters, I asked for. And they send me spacemen!"
Yo' Mama is so poor, her bathroom consists of a tin can and a pile of leaves.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, her wig has a chinstrap.
Newton's 3rd Law never applies to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burnt; that would be a foolish thing for the sun to do.
When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech. He actually does it.
Chuck Norris can switch his motorcycle to four-wheel drive.
Chuck Norris went up Niagra Falls in a barrel.
An eclipse is just the suns attempt to hide from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.