How far can you spit. Try to beat Chuck Norris if you ask how far can he spit, at night look at the moon and don't wonder from were the craters come.
Q: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food? A: Gaelic breath.
Chuck Norris doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he has the dos equis guy serve it to him in a dress.
How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night? He controls himself.
A spaceman landed on the moon. To his surprise he saw ahead of him a little shop, with the name above it: "MORRIE COHEN, BESPOKE TAILORS." Curious, he went into the shop. A surprised looking man appeared behind the counter. "Who are you?" he asked. "I’m a spaceman," replied the spaceman. The man closed his eyes, and slapped his own cheek with one hand. "Cutters, I asked for. And they send me spacemen!"
Newton's 3rd Law never applies to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burnt; that would be a foolish thing for the sun to do.
When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech. He actually does it.
Chuck Norris can switch his motorcycle to four-wheel drive.
Chuck Norris went up Niagra Falls in a barrel.