Chuck Norris once bench pressed an 18 wheeler. With him inside it.
Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the Army so they can make Kevlar vests.
Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.
Q: Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? A: Because he had low "elf" esteem!
The pouch respects Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris put corns in the Milky Way and eat them at his breakfast.
Change the coffee in the office coffee maker to decaf.
Q: How did the first man die from using Viagra? A: The tablet got stuck in his throat and he died from a stiff neck.
Chuck Norris once won a chess game after losing his king
Q: What do you get if you cross a fridge and a hipster playlist? A: Cool music!