Man decides to buy a pet, but does not know what he wants as a pet, so he goes to the pet shop in search of a pet. He sees cats in a cage dogs on another cage spiders, rabbits, frogs, birds, fish in aquariums and finally he sees a very colorful parrot in the corner of the store and he goes to the area where the parrot was and salesman asks him, "Are you interested in this parrot?" The man says, "Does he talk?" the salesman says, "If you pull his left leg he will say the our father and if you pull his right leg, he will say the hailmary!" The man says, "What will the parrot say if I pull both legs at the same time?" The parrot says, "I'll fall on my ass stupid!"
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
What do the spice girls and a pack of M+Ms have in common? There are assorted colors, but they all taste the same.
Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris went sky diving 50 times. He used a parachute twice.
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together? A: CSI
Q:Why do dogs stick their noses in women's crotches? A:Because they can.
What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A rumor.
The dark side of the moon is the side that cowers in fear of Chuck Norris.
Q: What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare? A: A sunken chest with no booty!