Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Vote:
Chuck Norris can flip a coin and make it land on both sides at the same time.
Vote:
Chuck Norris can fly a submarine.
Vote:
James Bond was trained by Chuck Norris, as his butler.
Vote:
King Kong climbed the Empire State Building because Chuck Norris was waiting at the bottom.
Vote:
Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blowjob?
A: The blowjob.
You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blowjob.
Vote:
What does the black kid across the street get for christmas?
Your bike...
A man goes to a jewelry store looking to buy a watch.
He looks at a watch called "the George Bush Watch" and asks the sales clerk why there are no hands.
The sales clerk says "you are suppose to read his lips."
He then looks at a watch called the "Ross Perot Watch" and notices that it isn’t running – the sales clerk tells him "it runs, it doesn’t run, it runs, it doesn’t run..."
He then notices a watch called the "Bill Clinton Watch" and sees that it runs, has hands and looks like a pretty good watch.
He asks the sales clerk how much.
The sales clerk replies "$19.95 plus tax, plus tax, plus tax, plus tax, plus tax..."
A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him.
He stopped one of the runners and asked, "What’s happening?"
The runner replied breathlessly, "A lion has escaped from the zoo."
"Oh my, which way is it heading?"
"Well you don’t think we are chasing it, do you?"
I would make a science joke but all the good ones ARGON.