Q: 0 is false and 1 is true, right? A: 1.
Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
Q: When do Democrats like the idea of a flat tax? A: After it reaches 95%
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A: A ferrous wheel.
A: What's the difference between a lawyer and an undertaker? B: A Lawyer doesn't mind getting his hands dirty while burying his victims.
Chuck Norris once played himself in Russian Roulette, and he won. No Questions asked.
A government employee sat in his office, and out of boredom, decided to see what was inside his old filing cabinet. He poked through the contents and came across an old brass lamp. "This will look good on my mantel," he said, and took it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appeared and, as usual, granted him three wishes. "I would like an ice-cold Coke right now." He gets his Coke and drinks it. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be on an island with beautiful women, who find me irresistible." Suddenly, he's on an island with gorgeous women eyeing him lustfully. He tells the genie his third and last wish. "I wish I'd never have to work again." Instantly, he was back in his government office.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an attitude. He has a personality you can't handle.
An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "Woman without her man is nothing." The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
When Chuck Norris laughs he busts your gut.