An artist, a lawyer, and a programmer are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce and bankruptcy. The programmer says, ‘It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My wife thinks I’m with my mistress. My mistress thinks I’m home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!’
Mortal Kombat is not difficult enough for Chuck Norris, so he got Immortal Kombat.
Q: How do you know that Democrats are a diverse people? A: Because they keep count of how many people they know in each racial or ethnic category.
1st Eskimo: "Where did your mother come from?" 2nd Eskimo: "Alaska." 1st Eskimo: "Don’t bother, I’ll ask her myself!"
Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
Why don't men like to drink coffee at work? It keeps them awake.
Chuck Norris does not need a remote for his tv for all he needs to do is just stare until it turns on.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.
I was out for a drink with the wife last night and I said, "I love you". She asked me, "Is that you or the beer talking" I said, "It's me...I'm talking to the beer"!