Best jokes ever

Yo momma is so stupid, when your were born she looked at your embelical cord and says "It comes with cable!"
Vote: has 71.07 % from 172 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, stupid, insulting
What's the problem with an Asian pet store? There's always a kitchen in the back.
Vote: has 71.07 % from 102 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist
A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said, "He’s in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He’s in my heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He’s in our bathroom!" The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. And Little Johnny said, "Well… every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'"
Vote: has 71.05 % from 82 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, teacher, school, student, god
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Vote: has 71.05 % from 94 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama
A little while later Johnny's dad hears a commotion coming from Johnny's bedroom, he rushes in and is horrified to see Johnny shagging his gran! Johnny just looks at him and says "not so funny when its your mum is it ?"
Vote: has 71.05 % from 94 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
What do u call 4 mexicans sinking in quicksand? Quatro,sinko.
Vote: has 71.05 % from 94 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist
A man says to his wife, "I fancy kinky sex, how about I blow my load in your ear?" The wife hastily replies, "No, I might go deaf!" To which the man replies, "I've been shooting my love wads in your mouth for the last 20 years and you're still fucking talking aren't you?"
Vote: has 71.05 % from 86 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, wife, sex, love
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
Vote: has 71.04 % from 448 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
Vote: has 71.01 % from 281 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, doctor
How can you tell if you have acne? If the blind can read your face.
Vote: has 71.00 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, health