There was a tornado in my area the other day. The sky was so black; it took my bike.
A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men". So he stabs her and takes her purse.
A young man presents his fiancee to his parent. At the table, the girl needs to have a fart. After a couple of minutes they can feel a smell... The father-in-law says: Rex...! Happy that her future father-in-law blamed the dog under her chair, the girl relaxes. After a while she gives another and the father-in-law says very angry: Rex, be careful... With a very big relief, the girl farts again. Father-in-law says: Rex! Get out of there she’ll shit on you!
Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans? A: The black ones steal your watch.
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
Why is Hitler never invited to BBQ's? He always burns the franks.
A little while later Johnny's dad hears a commotion coming from Johnny's bedroom, he rushes in and is horrified to see Johnny shagging his gran! Johnny just looks at him and says "not so funny when its your mum is it ?"
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.