3 things which change women:
1) I love U
2) I liquidated to your account
3) U have lost weight
The last one had been some fatalities!
What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an Asian? A car thief that can't drive.
When my customer ordered iced tea, I asked, "Sweetened or unsweetened?"
Her answer: "What's the difference?"
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Q: How long does it take for a workplace bully to come up with a patentable new invention?
A: It depends: If the designer's desk drawer is locked, about 5 minutes, otherwise, under a minute.
Did you hear about the man who spent too much of his company's money on Viagra?
Now he's hard up.
A Roadway driver is driving east on Route 66 he sees a truck driving west and the CB crackles to life.
“Hey Roadway driver, who are the two biggest fags in America?” comes from the CB.
The Roadway driver replies, “I don’t know.”
The other trucker says ” You and your brother.”
Well the Roadway driver gets annoyed but the other driver tells him “It’s just a joke – tell it to the next truck you see.”
Well the Roadway driver drives for about an hour and finally sees another truck.
He gets on the CB and says “Hey other truck, do you know who the two biggest fags in the world are?”
The other trucker says, “I don’t know, who?”
The roadway driver replies “Me and my brother.”
Yo' Mama is so nasty, when I asked what was for dinner, she took off her shoe and said, "Corns."
Your mom is so fat when she jumps all the oceans disappear.
Yo Momma's so fat, when she goes to Taco Bell, they run for the border!
Did you hear about the cannibal who joined the police force?
He said he wanted to grill his suspects.
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