Chuck Norris has never taken a test, because no one questions Chuck Norris.
She is so blonde, she thinks that Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
The first time Chuck Norris won a game of poker was when his apponant reaveled his full house; then Chuck Norris reaveled his roundhouse.
Chuck Norris said "come on" and "on" came.
Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.
Eight-year-old Nina brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good…mostly A’s and a couple of B’s. However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Nina is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit." Nina’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Nina because I would like to try it out on her mother."
Q: What do you call a prostitute with her hand down her skirt? A: Self-employed.
I use camouflage condoms so they cant see me coming.