Best jokes ever

A man died and went to hell and was sitting on a stone looking very depressed. Another demon came up to him and asked: "Why the glum look, man?" The man replied: "Well I just died and now I'm in hell." But the demon just smiled and said: "Don't feel bad, it's not a bad thing at all. Do you like smoking?" the demon asked. The man's face lit up and he answered; "Yeah!" "Well on Mondays we all get together and smoke till we die. The best thing is, we're already dead!" the demon answered. "Alright!" creid the man. "Do you like drinking?" the demon asked. "Yeah!" The man answered. "Well on Wednesdays we all get together and drink till we die. The best thing is, we're already dead!" the demon answered. "Sweet!" cried the man. "Are you gay?" asked the demon. The man frowned and said: "No." The demon replied: "Oh, then you're gonna hate Saturdays..."
Vote: has 70.40 % from 194 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, death, alcohol
A Mexican, a Cuban, and a Chinese guy are riding in a truck. Who's driving? Immigration.
Vote: has 70.39 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: mexican, asian, ethnic, travel
Quasimodo, the demented bell ringer of Notre Dame, put an ad in the papers for a assistant bell ringer. One man applied for the job but he had no arms. "How are you going to assist me?" asked Quasimodo. "That's easy!" replied the man and he ran at the bell and banged it with his head. BONG!!! "That's amazing!" said Quasimodo. "Could you show me that again?" "Sure!" said the man and he ran at the bell again but he missed the swinging bell and fell out of the bell tower. A crowd huddled around the hapless man lying in the street and a police office asked, "Does anyone know who he is?" Quasimodo came out and said... "I DON'T KNOW HIS NAME, BUT HIS FACE SURE RINGS A BELL!"
Vote: has 70.39 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity
Marriages are made in Heaven – but then again, so are thunder and lightning.
Vote: has 70.35 % from 130 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
Seems like school and microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes.
Vote: has 70.35 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, time
Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots? A: You only have to teach them to take off.
Vote: has 70.35 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military
A Liverpool docker went to South Africa for a job. The boss tells him, "Its people like you we want here. Here's a test. There's a revolver, go out and shoot 6 niggers and a rabbit." The docker asks, "Why do I have to shoot the rabbit?" He got the job.
Vote: has 70.34 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist
Why is there a fence around the cemetery? Because people are dying to get in.
Vote: has 70.33 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
A man and a woman are lying in bed, watching the ceiling and keep quiet. What are they thinking? The woman thinks, "He keeps quiet. He doesn’t want to talk. May be he’s get tired of me. He doesn’t love me anymore. He’s probably got someone else. I see. We’ll have to separate each other." The man thinks, "A fly. A fly on the ceiling. Wow! How keep it there and don’t fall?"
Vote: has 70.33 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, love, animal, men
The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word 'Facial' is used.
Vote: has 70.33 % from 107 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex