Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
Because they are tired of using their own.
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder.
" The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down.
Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"
How do you know when you honeymoon is over?
When he no longer smiles as he scrapes the burnt toast.
"I just had sexed in school today, dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my 16th biurthday, my boyfriend will die."
"Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."
Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
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Why did Osama Bin Laden kill his wife?
When she spread her legs he saw bush.
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Spider: Why are you terrified by me?
Me: Well the reasons I had have all now been replaced by the fact you can talk.
A guy and a girl are roommates in college.
The girl goes to a frat party, brings home another guy, fucks him, and then decides the next morning that she likes her roommate and therefore it's not going to work out. After her fling left, her roommate came up to her and:
Him: "I think I found my soulmate in you..."
Her: "Really?!"
Him: "Yeah... uh... that guy you brought home last night?"
Her: "Oh yeah. I don't care about him anymore."
Him: "Great! So he's available?"
My wife said to me, "For our anniversary I want to go somewhere I've never been before."
So I said, "Try the kitchen!"
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Joke has 68.73 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, communication, marriage, mean, travel