Best jokes ever

Husband: Shall we try a new positon tonight? Wife: Sure. You stand by the ironing board, and I'll sit on the couch while drinking beer and farting.
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I like my girl to be Hannah on the streets but Miley in the sheets.
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There was no world recession, just Chuck Norris desiring a discount.
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Two blondes wait at a bus stop. A bus pulls up and opens the door. One of the blondes leans inside and asks the driver, "Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?" The bus driver shakes his head and says, "No, I'm sorry." The other blonde leans inside and asks, "How about ME?"
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Q: Who was the smartest man in the Bible? A: Abraham. He knew a Lot.
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Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.
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The best security system for a bank is when Chuck's money is in it.
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Latin insulted Chuck Norris. It is now a dead language.
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Everytime a someone tells me my jokes are funny, I say, "Thanks! I got more lines than Whitney Huston's coffee table.".
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More jokes about: life, celebrity
Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, technology