Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris can power solar panels. At Night.
Please let me know in advance if you want to invite any secret love children to your Father's Day brunch.
Q: Why did the Atheist cross the road? A: He thought there might be a street on the other side, but he wouldn't believe it until he tested his hypothesis.
Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib? A: A snowmobile!
Chuck Norris can fly a submarine.
Leonardo DiCaprio had to ask permission from Chuck Norris to say the famous line "I'm the king of the world."
Q: What did the Nickelback fan say to the other Nickelback fan when they ran out of weed? A: Man, this music sucks.
The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
Chuck Norris doesn't lift weights he tells his muscles to get bigger.