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Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
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Chuck Norris can power solar panels. At Night.
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Please let me know in advance if you want to invite any secret love children to your Father's Day brunch.
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Q: Why did the Atheist cross the road? A: He thought there might be a street on the other side, but he wouldn't believe it until he tested his hypothesis.
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Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib? A: A snowmobile!
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Chuck Norris can fly a submarine.
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Leonardo DiCaprio had to ask permission from Chuck Norris to say the famous line "I'm the king of the world."
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Q: What did the Nickelback fan say to the other Nickelback fan when they ran out of weed? A: Man, this music sucks.
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The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
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Chuck Norris doesn't lift weights he tells his muscles to get bigger.
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