"Why are you studying your Easter candy?" "I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!"
A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
Q: Do you know why women over fifty don't have babies? A: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
Q: Did you hear about the Hungarian who thought his wife was trying to kill him? A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Hungarian Remover".
Chuck Norris hates both the player and the game.
When raining, Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella , he can dodge the rain drops.
The main distinction between a boss and the Pope is the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."
Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.
Pr*stitute in the police station. The desk officer sayes "so when did you realise you were raped ?" She replies ... "when the cheque bounced !"