Best jokes ever

Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in? A: "Have another beer."
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: beer, blonde
Q: Who makes the best detective - Sherlock Holmes or a tax accountant? A: The tax accountant - she make's more deductions.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: accountant, tax, work
A 21-year-old is hired by a hardware store. He shows up for his first day of work at 8 AM sharp. The boss welcomes him, then hands him a broom. "First, sweep out the store. Then I'll show you where the window cleaning equipment is." "Sir," the young man protests. "You can't be serious. I'm a college graduate." "Oh, sorry," says the manager, pointing to the broom. "No problem. I can show you how that thing works."
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: graduation, insulting, management, work
You will never have more energy or enthusiasm, hair, or brain cells than you have today.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: college, life
Sorry, I'm late. I was trying to think of ways to get out of this.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: mean
Q: What is height of forgetfulness? A: Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: life
Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, time
If Chuck Norris was on Minute to Win it, they would need 59 seconds of filler.
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has 67.67 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A man in a bar, after several drinks, began bragging that he could identify any type of wood by its smell only. The patrons of the bar decided to test him. The man was blindfolded and presented with several pieces of wood. First they tried maple. He smelled it and said, "That's maple." They then tried ebony; he again smelled it and named the wood correctly. He did this with every piece of wood they brought before him. The bartender then got an idea to trick him. And they took one of the waitresses and put her crotch up to his nose. He sniffed for a while. "Boy," he said "This is difficult. Flip that board over and let me smell the other side." So they took they waitress and put her ass near his nose. He took a big whiff, started to smile and said, "You guys can't fool me! That's the shit house door from a tuna boat!"
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has 67.67 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar
A petty thief, a teacher and a lawyer die and go to heaven. When they get there they are stopped by St. Peter, who then says, "Sorry, heaven's crowding up, so you need to answer a question correctly, or else you can't get in." He looks at the teacher, and asks her: "What was the name of the famous ocean-liner that sank after hitting an iceberg?" "Oh, that's easy," the teacher replied, "the Titanic." So St. Peter let her into heaven. Next he turned to the petty thief. "How many people died on that ship?" St. Peter asked. "Oooh, that's tough, but I saw the movie, and it was 1, 500." St. Peter stepped away and the thief walked into heaven. Finally, St. Peter turned to the lawyer. He simply said to him: "Name them."
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
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