A black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" "Africa," says the parrot.
Husband takes the wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large – break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down." Husband says: "Looks like he’s still fucking celebrating!!"
Why do mexicans walk around the school like they own the place? Cause there dad built it and there mom cleans it at night.
How do you get the little black kids to stop jumping on the bed? Put Velcro on the ceiling. How do you get them down? Tell the Mexican kids it's a piñata.
Customer: Could you please call me a cab? Little Johnny: OK... "You're a cab."
There once was a fellow from Kent Who had such a long instrument. To stay out of trouble He folded it double. And instead of coming he went.
Chuck Norris doesn't have to do anything for a Klondike bar.
You're so ugly, Yo' Mama had to be drunk to breastfeed you.
Yo' Mama has more crabs than Red Lobster.
A family went to a nudist camp for their vacation. The young son came back to the tent and said, "Wow, Mom! You should see some of those girls. They've got these HUGE..."
"Yes, well," his mother sniffs. "The larger they are, the dumber the woman."
Next day the boy comes back to the tent again. "You wouldn't believe some of the guys out there. They have these HUGE..."
"Yes, well, like I said, the bigger they are, the dumber the man."
"Really?" the boy said, frowning with puzzlement. "We might be in trouble, Mom."
"Because Dad's out there talking to a really stupid girl, and he's getting dumber by the minute."