Which runs faster, hot or cold? Hot. Everyone can catch cold.
What did the egg say to the boiling water? "How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
Last year Chuck Norris won the prize for best float at the Carnival in Rio simply by walking in the parade wearing his cowboy hat.
What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."
Chuck Norris can sink a hole in none!
The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks." "And did he?" "Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."
A man goes to the circus. After the show he speaks to the manager and asks for a job. "Alright, what can you do?", the manager asks. "I can do great bird impressions", the man replies. "Pssh, a lot of people can do that". "Oh well", the man says and flies away.
Chuck Norris can get up to level 40 in Fallout 3.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a theme song because, you won't hear anything once your roundhouse kicked in the face.