Every night I play a game called "Should I pee or can I hold it till morning".
"Knock Knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Europe."
"Europe who?"
"No you're a poo."
"Doctor I feel like biscuits!"
"What, you mean those square ones?"
"Yes!"
"The ones you put butter on?"
"Yes!"
"Well, that means you’re crackers!"
Two deer hunters met in the woods. The first one said to the other, "Boy am I glad to see you, I've been lost for hours." The second deer hunter said, "That's nothing, I've been lost for a week."
Vote:
Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes?
The police thought it was a cereal killer.
Q: What is height of De-hydration?
A: A cow giving milk powder.
How are men like noodles?
They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
How did that bullfight come out?
Oh, it was a toss-up.
Q: What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?
A: In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer.
A blonde is standing in front of a soda machine outside a local store.
After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine.
She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button.
Suddenly, a coke comes out the machine!
She continues to do this until a man waiting to use the machine becomes impatient.
"Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever you are doing?"
The blonde turns around and says, "No chance! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm winning!"