Chuck Norris won the Boston marathon in New York.
I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.
Yo Mama so ugly, that when she entered a haunted house, she came out with an application.
If my main parachute doesn't open and my reserve parachute doesn't open, how long till i hit the ground? The rest of your life...
Did you hear about the blonde who was a really good cook? She could get pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece!
A man goes skydiving. After a fantastic free fall he pulls the rip cord to open his parachute but nothing happens. He tries everything but can't get it open. Just then another man flies by him, going UP. The skydiver yells, "Hey, you know anything about parachutes? The man replies, "No, you know anything about gas stoves?
The only mark ever made on Chuck Norris is his birth mark.
Chuck Norris can freeze water using a toaster.
The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
What does an octopus wear on a cold day? A coat of arms.