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Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? A: The accountant knows he's boring.
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Chuck Norris once beat the sun at a staring contest.
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Gravity is Space's way of trying to keep Chuck Norris away from it.
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Chuck Norris actually painted all of the colors of the wind.
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Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.
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UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
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After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
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A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.
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As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!" "Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
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