Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? A: The accountant knows he's boring.
Chuck Norris once beat the sun at a staring contest.
Gravity is Space's way of trying to keep Chuck Norris away from it.
Chuck Norris actually painted all of the colors of the wind.
Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!" "Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"