A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: “We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.” The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”
Chuck Norris is a fact.
Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? A: The accountant knows he's boring.
Chuck Norris once beat the sun at a staring contest.
Gravity is Space's way of trying to keep Chuck Norris away from it.
Chuck Norris actually painted all of the colors of the wind.
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.
After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
Q: What animal could Noah not trust? A: Cheetah.