Best jokes ever

Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, celebrity, Halloween
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, baby, animal
Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, IT
Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Your mama so ugly when god was making light he told her to step out the way.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, ugly
Three men go on a skiing trip, but when they get to the HOTEL they find out that the hotel have mucked up their rooms and they have to share one big bed. When they wake up the guy on the left says I had a well strange dream last night that I was getting a hand job, and then the guy on the right goes thats strange O had the same dream I was getting a hand job. Then the guy in the middle goes well thats strange because I had a dream I was skiing!
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, sport, masturbation
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
This guy goes up to a bar located at the top of the Empire State Building in New York. It looks like a nice place, and he takes a seat at the bar. “This is a nice place. I’ve never been here before,” he says to the guy next to him. “Oh, really?” the other replies. “It is a nice place. It’s also a very special bar.” “Why is that?” the first guy asks. “Well, do you see that painting on the far wall? That’s an original Van Gogh, and this stool I’m sitting on was on the Titanic.” “Gee, that’s amazing!” says the first guy. “Not only that, but you see that window over there, fourth from the right? Well, the wind does strange things outside that window. If you jump out you’ll fall about 50 feet before the wind catches you and you’re pushed back up.” “No way! That’s impossible,” the guy scoffs. “Not at all. Take a look,” the other man replies, and with that he walks over to the window and opens it. He climbs over the sill and falls out. He drops 10… 20… 30… 40…50 feet, comes to a stop, and whoosh — he comes right back up and sails back through the window. “See? It’s fun. You should try it,” he says. “Try it? I don’t even believe I saw it!” the first man shouts. “It’s easy. Watch, I’ll do it again.” And with that, he falls out the window again. He drops 10… 20… 30… 40… 50 feet, comes to a stop, and whoosh — he comes right back up and sails back through the window. “Give it a try. It’s a blast,” he says. “Well, what the heck, I’ll give it a try,” the first man says, and proceeds to fall out the window. He falls 10… 20… 30… 40… 50…60…70…80…90… 100 feet and splat — he ends up as road pizza on the sidewalk. After watching this, the second guy casually closes the window, heads back to the bar and orders a drink. The bartender arrives with the drink and says, “You know, Superman, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk.”
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, drunk, celebrity
„And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?" asks mother. „Come on mom, the most important thing is that I'm healthy!"
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, health, school