Best jokes ever

I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Patient: "Doc, recently I've been very careless." Doc: "How? Give me an example." Patient: "Now I'm speaking with you, it seems that I'm talking to my dick."
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has 65.78 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, doctor, vulgar
How I see math word problems: If you have 4 pencils and 7 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.
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has 65.77 % from 189 votes. More jokes about: math
Kid to her mother: "If you hurt me I'll make you pregnant by a needle." Mother: "How? My sweet it isn't possible." Kid: "I'll insert the needle to daddy's condom!"
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has 65.76 % from 157 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, mean, sex, vulgar
Q. Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe? A. They're called Dikes. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!
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has 65.74 % from 324 votes. More jokes about: lesbian, sex
A cowboy rides in the desert and comes upon a Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?" The naked man replies, "I'm finding out the time -- it is 12:15." The cowboy looks at his watch and thinks, "Wow, it really is 12:15." The cowboy continues and sees another Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?" The naked man replies, "I'm seeing what time it is -- it is 3:15." The cowboy looks at his watch and that is the correct time. The cowboy continues and finds a third Native American lying naked on the ground, masturbating. The cowboy asks what he's doing and he replies, "I'm winding my watch."
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has 65.74 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: cowboy, disgusting, masturbation, time
Chuck Norris can close Pandora's Box.
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has 65.73 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.
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has 65.73 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, dirty, sex
Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
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has 65.73 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
What’s the difference between ‘Oooh!’ and ‘Aaah!’? About three inches.
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has 65.73 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: sex
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