The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race. He turned on the jockey. "Flaherty, could you not have raced faster?" "Sure I could have, but you know we are supposed to stay on the horse."
A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and asks, "Is this some kind of joke?"
Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch? He's down to four butts a day.
Yo mama is so fat that she took geometry at the school because she heard there will be some pi.
I walked out of the store and saw a car full of black people lock their car doors i felt pretty badass until i realized it was my car.
Chuck Norris has nicknames for his feet... Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she put the operator on speed dial.
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change. I'll be back in a minute." Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body. Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely. "What are you doing?," the female egg asked. He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."