A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around.
„What on earth are you doing?!" asks a passer-by.
The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit."
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Q: What's the difference between a teabag and england?
A: The teabag stays in the cup longer!
Q: Did you hear her eyes were blue?
A: Yeah, one blew this way, one blew that way...
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There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
Steve Martin
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Once, Chuck Norris only filled his name in on the SAT.
He got a perfect score.
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How can you know a lawyer is lying?
When he moves his lips.
Q: What is the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?
A: The taste
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What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
A man's undivided attention.
A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce.
The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says, "Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce."
"Because," the man says, "I live in a two-story house."
The Judge replies, "What kind of a reason is that!
What's the big deal about a two-story house?"
The man answers, "Well Judge, one story is...**I have a headache** and the other story is **It's that time of the month!** "
Q:What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?
A:Santa stops after three hos.