Chuck Norris has walked to the end of the universe and back.
A man and his ever nagging wife were on holiday in Jerusalem, when the wife suddenly died. The funeral company told the man that it would cost 45000 to ship her home or $500 to bury her in Jerusalem. The husband said "ship her home". Shocked, the undertaker asked "but sir, why don't you bury her in the Holy Land and save the money ?" The husband replied "a long time ago, a man was buried here and 3 days later, he rose from the dead ... I cant take the chance !"
May 6th, 1945: A then five-year old Chuck Norris swam the Atlantic Ocean. The next day, the Nazis surrendered...
They say terror? Look at Chuck.
Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.
First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like? Second Caribou: Owlgebra.
When you have a man staring at a naked Playboy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon he saw aliens worshiping Chuck Norris's footprints.
Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast. They taste like chicken.
Chuck Norris has a black belt in every language.