Yo mama's so fat that even Barack Obama couldn't afford to take her out to dinner.
A tourist in Sweden is drinking in a bar when an attractive woman sits next to him.
‘Hello,’ he says.
‘Do you speak English?’
‘Oh I speaking not much English,’ replies the woman.
‘How much?’ asks the man.
The woman replies, ‘200 Kroner.’
Did I tell you the joke about my dick?
Never mind its too long.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
Vote:
The three words most hated by men during sex: ‘Are you done?’
The three words most hated by women during sex, ‘Honey, I’m home!’
A three year old little boy was examining his testicles while he was bathing.
"Mom", he asked, "is that my brain?"
"Not yet", she answered.
What is Jehovah's wiseness favorite band?
The Doors.
Yo' Mama is like a television: even an old man can turn her on.
Signs You're No Longer in College...
You no longer know what time fast food drive-thru windows close.
Your potted plants stay alive.
You pay at least a dollar more than the minimum payment on your credit card bill.
Your friends' hook-ups and break-ups are now marriages and divorces.
You attend parties that the police don't raid.
You're not expected to leave the room when the adults are talking.
You refer to college students as "those kids."
You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of just beer, beer and beer.
You feed your dog Science Diet instead of leftover pizza.
At 6 a.m., you're putting your contact lens in instead of taking them out.
Naps are no longer weekday options.
Dating involves dinner and a movie, not keggers and Ecstasy.
Grocery lists contain more than toilet paper and potato chips.
You leave parties because you have a busy day tomorrow, not because the EMS guy has strapped you down.
Whats the chemical formula of compressed liquid oxygen?
O2.zip