May 6th, 1945: A then five-year old Chuck Norris swam the Atlantic Ocean. The next day, the Nazis surrendered...
They say terror? Look at Chuck.
Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.
When you have a man staring at a naked Playboy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon he saw aliens worshiping Chuck Norris's footprints.
Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast. They taste like chicken.
Chuck Norris has a black belt in every language.
Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
A blonde, a redhead and a brunette look through a dictionary for the hardest words they know. The brunette's word is "quizzical." The redhead's word is "sardonic." The blonde's word is "di*k."
A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..." The bartender says "Well then, lets see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch. He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?" An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."