Best jokes ever

Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
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Where does the devil go when he dies? He goes to Chuck Norris for an eternity of roundhouse kicks.
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Chuck Norris has an iPhone with whole apple.
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What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A good lawyer knows the law, a great lawyer knows the judge.
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Charlie Sheen can achieve recovery by taking a drug called Chuck Norris.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat? A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.
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Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal? A: Elvis has been sighted.
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Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?" "I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made all the appetisers herself and we have a caterer coming in to provide plenty of sandwiches and cakes for all of our guests." "I don't mean that," the priest responded. "I mean, are you properly prepared spiritually?" "Oh, sure," came the reply. "I've got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey."
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The light at the end of the tunnel is actually Chuck Norris holding a flashlight.
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What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
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