Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
Chuck Norris caught a bullet with the same gun he fired it from.
Yo mama's so fat that when she wore a red shirt, people said hey look koolaid.
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
Chuck Norris once had a weak moment, just to know what it felt like.
Chuck Norris was once part of a knock knock joke. The Joke ended abruptly when after the first knock the door blew up killing the man behind it.
Trick me once, shame on you, trick Chuck Norris... rest in peace.
Chuck Norris was once in a catch 22, but he roundhouse kicked it down to to a 12 pack and literally drank his problems away.
Chuck Norris found the stairway to heaven, but he prefers the elevator.
Why wouldn't the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.