Best jokes ever

Define "Egghead": What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.
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When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
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Yo Momma has so many chins, it looks like she's wearing a fat necklace!
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Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
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Q: Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court? A: For kitty littering.
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Q: What did the Arctic wolf ask in the restaurant? A: "Are these lemmings fresh off the tundra?"
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More jokes about: dog, food, winter
A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor. "How much do I owe you?" the lady asks. "$345," says the doctor. "$345!!?" the lady asks. "Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."
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Chuck Norris is spelled with a silent "awesome".
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Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
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Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one". Wrong. Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food