What is a bear's favourite drink? Koka-Koala.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.
If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."
In space Chuck Norris can hear your screams.
Why was the little bear so spoiled? Because its mother panda d to its every whim.
Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam. Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.
Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children? A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
Robert came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed. 'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', Asked Robert. 'I'm going to Nairobi', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get 4000 a night for what I give you for free! 'Robert said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand. 'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife. Robert said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on 8000 a year!'