Q: How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
A: Pick it up and suck it's dick.
Vote:
Warning ladies!
Never trust a man who calls you "SEXY".
This is why. When he removes the letter 'Y' it means you're down for "SEX". After sex, he will remove the letter "S" and start calling you his "EX".
Your momma is just like a shotgun, give her a cock and she blows.
Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate.
"You should give that money to charity," said the sales girl.
Fred thought for a moment and said, "No, I'll buy the chocolate.
You give the money to charity."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Owls say.
Owls say who?
Yep, that they do.
Vote:
There was a 3 car accident in Mexico yesterday, 84 people were found dead.
Vote:
A couple have been dating for a few weeks, but the guy has been afraid of making advances because he thinks his penis is on the small side.
Finally, he gets up his courage and takes her down lovers’ lane. While they’re kissing, he opens his trouser zip and guides her hand onto his organ.
‘No thanks,’ says the girl. ‘I don’t smoke.’
I feel like every nature documentary is directed by a psychopath.
"Here's the cutest baby animal ever."
"Now let's watch something eat it."
How do you stop an Iraqi tank?
"Just shoot the guy that's pushing it!"
Vote:
My girlfriend told me that will change me.
I thought she was referring to the character, but she found a new boyfriend!
Vote: