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Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life...!
Vote: has 89.41 % from 397 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, husband, wife, life
It's 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Peggy Sue's father answers the door and invites him in. He asks Bobby what they're planning to do on the date. Bobby politely responds that they'll probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie. Peggy Sue's father suggests, "Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it." Bobby is shocked. "Excuse me, sir?" "Oh yes, Peggy Sue really likes to screw. She'll screw all night if we let her." Peggy Sue comes downstairs and announces that she's ready to go. About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father, "Dad! The Twist! It's called the Twist!"
Vote: has 89.40 % from 1030 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, time, dating, kids, sex
A wife goes on a retreat for work. When she returns, she finds a pair of panties in her dresser that do not belong to her. Furious, she questions her husband. The husband says, "I have no idea where they came from I don't do the laundry!" So, the wife goes to the maid and questions her. Indignant, the maid replies, "Madam, how should I know? These panties don't belong to me. I don't even wear panties just ask your husband!"
Vote: has 89.39 % from 244 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, work, wife, husband
The best way to get your husband to do something is to suggest he’s too old to do it.
Vote: has 89.38 % from 266 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
A man walks into a barber shop and says, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine." The barber lathers his face and sharpens the straight edge while a woman with the biggest, most beautiful breasts he has ever seen kneels down and shines his shoes. The man says, "You and I should spend some time in a hotel room." She replies, "My husband wouldn't like that." The man says, "Tell him you're working overtime, and I'll pay you the difference." She says, "You tell him. He's the one shaving you."
Vote: has 89.38 % from 428 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%? A: Her wedding cake.
Vote: has 89.37 % from 1048 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, food, sex, wedding
A man was reading the newspaper during breakfast and said to his wife, "Look at this. Another beautiful actress is going to marry a baseball player who's a total dope! I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the hottest wives." His wife said, 'Thank you.'
Vote: has 89.37 % from 210 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
Wife: Why do you go out in the balcony, when I start singing. Husband: Because the people would think I am beating you.
Vote: has 89.35 % from 232 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel about s*x?" he asked, rather tentatively. "I would like it infrequently ", she replied. The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, "Is that one word or two?"
Vote: has 89.35 % from 1005 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people, couple, marriage, sex
I’ve been happily married for ten whole years. And ten out of thirty isn’t bad.
Vote: has 89.34 % from 254 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage