Q: What is brown, small, and smells of caramel?
A: A diabetic who's been struck by lightning.
Vote:
One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is.
Vote:
There were three guys at a bar.
One was a college student, one was a buisness man and the other was a biker.
The student tells the two other men that it was his aniversary and he got his wife a pearl necklace and a trip to the Bahamas "Shit if she doesnt like the necklace she'll love the trip" he said.
So the buisness man said "That's nice, for my last aniversary I got my wife a Mercades and a new mansion, if she didn't like the mercades she has to like the new mansion. "
As the biker finished his drink he said "For my last aniversary I got my wife a t-shirt and a vibrator. If she didn't like the t-shirt she can go fuck herself."
A blonde pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died.
After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly.
"What's the story?" she asked.
"Just crap in the carburator," the mechanic replied.
"How often do I have to do that?" asked the blonde.
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Testicules.
Testicules who?
Pillow for penis .
Vote:
I'm going to watch my wedding video later "backwards".
I love the end bit when she takes the ring off, goes back down the aisle and jumps in the car.
Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: With a knife.
Vote:
A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner.
The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top.
"Och, I look like a pig!"
The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she asked if her drug test was multiple choice.
Q: What did the nut say to the bolt?
A: Screw me.