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How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts? Guilt gifts are nicer.
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What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention.
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Q: Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist? A: Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.
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A blonde and a brunette are skydiving. The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord and nothing happens. She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing. The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells, "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"
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Yo Momma so fat she has seat belts on the chairs to keep her fat from rolling off!
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Atlas doesn't drop the earth because he knows Chuck Norris lives in it.
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Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a commentator.
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Do you know what a plateau is? It's the highest form of flattery!
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Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.
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Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder. " The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away. Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"
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More jokes about: blonde