Chuck Norris won a soccer game. He was the referee.
How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts? Guilt gifts are nicer.
What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention.
A blonde and a brunette are skydiving. The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord and nothing happens. She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing. The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells, "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry? A: Never lick the spoon!
Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
Atlas doesn't drop the earth because he knows Chuck Norris lives in it.
Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.
Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a commentator.
Do you know what a plateau is? It's the highest form of flattery!